One yellow gold Tiffany & Co. solitaire engagement ring, nearly 3/4 carat princess cut and very good quality diamond
One yellow gold anniversary-style wedding band, also Tiffany & Co., inset with 11 princess-cut diamonds
These rings and I have history. They were gifts from my most recent husband, J. The engagement ring was so beautiful, I was afraid to wear it. I am a little hard on the jewelry I own, or at least this was the case when I had multiple kids in the house. With all the laundry, cooking, and random yard work, I couldn’t bear the thought of losing or damaging something that cost a small fortune.
Considering the divorce was my idea, one might think I’d readily pass these on to some lucky sap who was ready to pop the question to his unsuspecting (or quite suspecting) bride-to-be. The thing is, I am having a very difficult time with my expected parting. Besides the fact that I’ve been unemployed for several weeks and could really use the dough, I wish I had a good reason to wear the darned things. I wish that I could still be in our home, loving on our dogs, and taking care of him. I wish that I could still have someone to pour me a glass of wine after a hard day. I wish that I could rub his headaches away. I wish that I could have another opportunity to wear this beautiful engagement ring.
It’s safe to say that the business of weddings is a booming industry, in spite of the slogging economy. According to “The Knot,” the average wedding budget in 2011 was a smidgen over than $27,000. The average wedding dress? Over $1,100. The average guest count was 141. The average wedding photographer was $2,300 and videographer was nearly $1,500. The average engagement ring in 2011 was $5,130, not nearly as much as much as the one my groom bought for me.
My rings should be a breeze to sell with all of this cash floating around.
The thing is, it’s hard for me to do. I love these rings. I love those rat dogs. I loved our wine shopping. I loved him. But in spite of all this gushy love crap, it hurt me to stay there. It hurt me to have such harsh words. It hurt more to stay than it did to go. Broken trust is a hard thing to fix. Lies are more than just false words.
I am thankful that I am not in any position to answer if someone were to pop the question to me again. While I do not choose to ordain the works of my great God, I am not much interested in putting my ring finger into anyone else’s care. For now, I have a pretty cute costume-style zircon that works quite well.
Having done all this lamenting, I must state clearly that I love my SoCal life. I love my life here. It is full with family, friends, and the occasional bottle of red wine, all that tickle me in the sweetest way. I also know that, eventually, kids won’t want me to live with them and I’m already losing some of the dear friends I’ve made in my short time here. Some day, I’ll need something different than what I count on so fiercely today to be a sensitive and caring place to rest my head and hang my photos. When that time comes, it would be nice to have someone to take me to dinner near the water, with the sappy sunset poring its lovely rays on our cabernet sauvignon.
Pictures available upon request.